001: un: A2

[a2brutus]

Since it seems to come up a lot, and since we got a bunch of new people recently, I'll make it clear to everyone.

Androids are not machines. Don't call us machines, and don't call us robots.

And since I have your attention still, there's a machine running around. Tall, male, red eyes and white hair. If he starts anything let me know so I can test how sharp my sword is. I promise I'll do it quietly. Or at least with no one else around.

Comments

[a2brutus]

Hobbies aren't something you do for other people, idiot. They're something you do for yourself.

[Like give you something to focus entirely on, so you can calm down.]

They're a good way to pass the time too. God knows you're not going to do anything helpful for others here, so at least find something nondestructive to amuse yourself with.

[siderocostal]

[Now Eve is definitely looking at A2 like she just bent and started shoveling the dirt she loves so much into her mouth. All while looking him right in the eye to boot.

Until his baby brain catches up and he pouts instead, because A2 is poking at a sore spot already.]

I like doing what brother wants. But he's not here.

[He has no interests that aren't destructive either...]

I don't wanna do anything.

[:(]

[a2brutus]

Maybe you should find something you like to do instead of relying on what this brother of yours wants to do. Those kid machines were capable enough of doing that. Or maybe you just aren't as advanced as you say you are.

[She's. Taunting him.

GO FIND YOUR INTEREST YOU LITERAL BABY.]

[siderocostal]

Hey!

[He could wreck those lesser machines without even thinking! There's no way they're better than him!

And yet, Eve huffs quietly.

Because...he can't even argue that he does have his own hobbies, secretly? He has nothing. The gears in his head are turning, but there's just sparks and misfires, captain.]

What if my hobby is doing nothing?

[a2brutus]

Then stubbies are still more advanced than you, I don't know what to say.

[TAKE THAT. FIND A HOBBY.]

[siderocostal]

No way. Those lesser machines have no clue what they're even doing.

[Anyways, fuck you A2!!!

Eve has no interest in doing anything, especially after what just happened, and will, well.

Lay down on his side, jaw resting in his right hand, the picture of idleness.

And then he'll lift his free hand to kindly flip her off. How's that for a hobby?]

[a2brutus]

[A2, reaches out with her hand, grabs the finger flipping her off, and bends it backwards at an EXTREMELY uncomfortable angle.]

[siderocostal]

[JESUS.

Now Eve knows why people invoke that guy's name so much, because damn! Lord free him from his suffering.

He makes a decidedly funny face and is immediately on his ass again, trying to twist his finger out of her grip.

SHIT HURTS, MAN, LET GO!!!]

[a2brutus]

[She does let go! She was just proving a point.

She points at him, specifically.]

Find a hobby. Or I'll find one for you.

[siderocostal]

[What point? That she's mean???????????? Eve cradles his hand while looking Doubly Offended.

He signs grumpily at her.]

Why the hell should I and why the hell do you care if I do or not?

[YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF HIM!!!!!]

[a2brutus]

Let me make this simple for you. Find one, or I'll hurt you.

[siderocostal]

Weren't you gonna beat on me just for existing?

[Like, she promised to beat his ass over him looking at people funny, at their discretion!

This is poor motivation.

If he gets kicked over everything what's one more boot to the ankle for doing nothing?]

[a2brutus]

Just do it.

[siderocostal]

[Eve very conspicuously keeps his hands in his lap and smiles up at her.]

No.

[a2brutus]

[This time, A2 gives him a swift boot in the side.]

[siderocostal]

[Oh my god.

This is abuse??? Eve crumples a little, though it didn't do any actual damage. But he's a big baby, so that made it also the worst thing ever?????

He relents a little!!! At least!!!]

Fine, gimme one! You know there's no way I'm gonna do even that much just because you said so, android.

[He's going to sit and stew in the garage the moment her supervision is gone otherwise, no hobbies found. It's like how Adam's absence has seen clothes become optional once more.]

[a2brutus]

Fine. Start knitting. I'll send you the base information for it over the device here if you don't know how.

[GOD! What a petulant machine...]

[siderocostal]

[..............What.

Of all fucking things, that is not what he expected her to say. Count, move rocks, die. Those all sound like punishment-y hobbies.

What the hell is knitting!?]

Of course I don't know how! Do I look like I know what that is?

[HE'S A MACHINE LEADER, DAMN IT.]

[a2brutus]

[A2 is already pulling up the information on knitting for him, and she sends it off to his device.]

It's on your device. Just take a look. We have the yarn and needles in the living room. I don't care if you do it in here, but you have to go there to grab them at least.

[siderocostal]

[Knitting is...

The most pointless hobby Eve could never imagine. He stares at the information, and gives A2 a Look, but otherwise, he has no arguments.

Like, he's not gonna do it!!!, but if he pretends to agree, she'll drop it and forget about it, right?]

Got it. Happy now, android?

[a2brutus]

Peachy.

[And with that!!! She's leaving. She has zero faith in Eve. Absolutely none.]