quietplace | 001: un: A2

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001: un: A2

Since it seems to come up a lot, and since we got a bunch of new people recently, I'll make it clear to everyone.

Androids are not machines. Don't call us machines, and don't call us robots.

And since I have your attention still, there's a machine running around. Tall, male, red eyes and white hair. If he starts anything let me know so I can test how sharp my sword is. I promise I'll do it quietly. Or at least with no one else around.

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Your first mistake was thinking that I'm some kind of YoRHa clown. Then again, you machines aren't that bright anyway.

And barely put together or not, I've kicked the asses of stronger machines then you, and stronger androids too. Keep testing my patience and I'll show you how the dirt tastes.

Ah, so you're a regular clown then.

And I don't believe you one bit. You didn't even know I was a machine until I told you!

Not only that, but I'm one of the most advanced machine lifeforms yet, and my brother and I sure as hell never saw your sorry ass.

Maybe you imagined being good at fighting while you were busy walking around like an idiot doing nothing all day.

Advanced or not you're still a pathetic pile of circuitry that has no business walking around.

So you better shut up before I pull those pretty little wires out your eye sockets and stuff them down your throat.

Wow.

Go ahead. Maybe if we make enough noise all the humans around us will die.

How's that sound? We'll come back. Them, though? I dunno.

Sounds like a fun experiment if you ask me.

[Actually, dying sucked, but A2 is a big lame-o and he knows she won't fight him. Otherwise, he would be out of House Nine soooooooo fast.]

It's unfortunate how stupid you machines really are. You better be sure to watch your back, junk parts. I don't screw around.

You expect me to believe that when your favorite hobby is screwing around?

Give me a break.

I'll be staring at the garage wall if you wanna do something useful for once. Right now it's more intelligent than you are.

[A2 would knock except that means she has to make noise?? AND SURPRISE, A2 IS ACTUALLY CAPABLE OF BEING QUIET.

And then, while Eve isn't paying attention, A2 snaps her arm around his throat and squeezes. After jumping on his back like a fucking monkey because he's too fucking tall.]

[A2 would look silly for knocking on the garage door anyway???? It's a garage.

Eve doesn't expect her to come in here either? All she does is ignore him. >:(

He's glaring down at his device like that'll do anything about this, minding his own business, when this absolute mess of an android decides to be even more fucking weird! She's not unlike King Kong clinging to a skyscraper, honestly.

And yet, Eve can't do a thing. His immediate instinct is teleport away -- except if she lands on the ground, noise -- and his other is to back up into a wall and maybe scrub her the hell off like a bad itch--- which again, noise.

So he just stands there, stumbling around and gnashing his teeth and trying to pull on her but it comes down to the fact it fucking hurts!!! and his head feels like it's on fire from the cut circulation!! And the only way to get her to quietly let go is to concede? He guesses??

Because if she's trying to kill him she's doing a poor ass job of it. Otherwise, this would end just like it did with the other female android.

So he signs:]

I give! I give!

[FREE HIM YOU INSANE LITTLE OLD LADY.]

[A2 squeezes harder momentarily after he signs his defeat, like she means to attempt to pop his stupid head off.

And then she finally lets go, shoving him as hard as she's able to after. Ugh. If it wouldn't have made noise, she definitely would have at least taken his arm off with her sword.]

That's what I thought.

[Argh! Eve grunts at the added pressure, and that shove has him stumbling forward, which is fine??? He was going that way anyway!!!!

HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE NEAR THIS DEFECTIVE, ANGRY ANDROID.

He rounds on her, rubbing at his face and neck to alleviate the build up of heat and pressure, but he doesn't make any move to get back at her, notably.

Being the only machine here is...bad.

Like, he knew this, but now it's definitely a Thing. Petulantly, he signs:]

Go to hell.

[HE'S READ THE BIBLE, HE KNOWS BAD PEOPLE GO THERE.]

Already there, but thanks for the offer.

[There's a good bit of satisfaction at seeing him stumble, and even more at the petulant signing.]

Remember, you're the only machine here, and if you get on my nerves I will end you. And then I'll camp your shitty body in the reset room and kill you every time you revive until you can't even remember you're a shitty machine.

[Very pointedly, she signs again.]

So don't. Test me.

[Eve: give me attention.

Also Eve: no, not like that...!

Now he goes from being a grumpy shitposting brat, to looking like a kicked puppy. Mostly because, well, the pointed reminder he's the only machine here doesn't hurt actually -- not until he thinks about Adam, that is.

Brother...]

Whatever. I'm not even scared of you.

The only one who can tell me what to do is my brother.

[ >:'( ]

[A2 wordlessly crosses her arms, and the look she gives can only be summed up in one word: Terrifying.

Go on, punk. Make her day.]

[She's not scary! She's not!!! She's too tiny to be anything resembling terrifying.

However, the threat of forgetting Adam is very real, so he.

Gives her the world's most impressive pout, turns around, and walks to the darkest part of the garage. Where he sits, because he's basically been put in time out???

All she should see is his red eyes staring at her like beady little headlights.

He is two hundred percent sulking.]

[Yeah. That's what she thought. Punk.

She'll turn and leave him there. Enjoy your time out you 500lb baby.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

001: un: A2

SHES TOO COOL FOR FRIENDS

no shes lame

shes cool!!!!!!!!!!!!

gives her a noogie

nooo!!!!

):3c

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