un: dumpsterhole

[beeped]

i appreciate having a place to sleep and i'm glad i'm not dead and all
but how the fuck is a guy supposed to get any good chucks in if he's gotta be quiet all the time?
the actual thing that's going to kill me, it's that
back in my day, we were in the age of color movies with sound. what's the point of talkies being a thing if we're back to this real-life silent film bullshit?
also i gotta say it's really shitty timing. i had it reeeaal good before all of this. i could be as loud as i wanted, i had my bike, this giant ass combat knife, even a little baby dinosaur.

and what do i get here?

a fucking

tie-dye jumpsuit
like i'm some kind of hippie

Comments

[clussy]

This one's MY bathroom though. Snooze you lose, slowpoke.
Besides
I'm being generous here.

I dunno. He seemed pretty sweet to me. He helped me not die so that was nice? I think he's taller than you though
maybe you're the doppleganger

[beeped]

so you're just going to leave me all alone out in a cold quiet garage
no sound proofing whatsoever
do you know what's gonna happen to me now




what the fuck dude
and here i thought we were friends </3

[clussy]

you're the one who picked the garage. i told you we could share a room again
uh
you'll finally learn the art of shutting the fuck up?


we're not friends we're best friends which means i get to be honest with you 😘

(Emojis were a beautiful art form Eddie had only recently been introduced to. Isn't it amazing, Richie.)

[beeped]

yeah but the garage looked really cool
ha ha ha ha
you really got off a good one!!!!

you're killing me eds

[clussy]

Still not my fault.
I always get off a good one
we all know who the real comedic genius is in this group


no im not you're fine
are you coming or not
if not
im taking a bubble bath

(He doesn't even have stuff for a bubble bath but the point stands.)

[beeped]

i dunno
as my best friend isn't it your responsibility to keep me from rash behavior
i'm this close to dropping a stock pot on the floor, eds
to illustrate this the only thing between my thumb and index finger is a single molecule

i'm coming
don't rush me
what if i slip and fall on top of a foghorn

[clussy]

Unfortunately yeah.
you know you can't be that creative if you HAVE to make noise to be funny
i think this is a learning opportunity for you richie

I'd wonder where the foghorn came from honestly

[beeped]

really and you're gonna just act like this isn't gonna drive you insane either
we should just start a pots and pans band
maybe we'll die
but maybe it'll be a relief to being able to hear things again
i'm not made to be helen keller

[clussy]

i'm not saying it wont drive me insane. i talk indoors- just quietly.
im just saying id rather NOT see you die, richie.

Oh please. You can still see
Mostly

[beeped]

what if i forget what birds sound like
or dogs
fuck dude
i might as well be dead
deaf
same difference

BUT FOR HOW LONG
next thing you know i'll be seeing in blurry black and white and that'll suck so much ass

[clussy]

I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to be the melodramatic one in the group Richie
you're stealing my thunder here
no it isnt you can still hear things you baby

that'd probably just be your own eyesight getting worse honestly.
one day you wont even see my face anymore
and i will find absolute peace

[beeped]

guess you'll have to take it back from me >:]
sorry i didn't quite hear that, did u call me baby?

are you sure about that
because once i can't see anymore i'll just have to feel my way around with my hands
or a stick
i could walk off a cliff and never know
you're doomed to hold my hand
my seeing eye spaghetti

you should open this door for me, i'm blind and my hands are full

[clussy]

Uh yeah? I call you baby all the time
Cause you're baby.

(Point. Over Eddie's head.)

I'm doomed to do that anyway.
Spaghetti doesn't have eyes Richie godddd.

(WHY. Does he tolerate this nonsense. And yet he's automatically getting to his feet and rushing for the door. He opens it up for Richie, squinting already in speculation.)

[beeped]

oh right
because you're older and have all that sugar
i haven't forgotten

um
yes it does
there's just little olives and you just gotta poke them away because they're gross but they're there

[You know he's just going to keep up with the nonsense as long as he can get away with it.]