un: dumpsterhole

[beeped]

i appreciate having a place to sleep and i'm glad i'm not dead and all
but how the fuck is a guy supposed to get any good chucks in if he's gotta be quiet all the time?
the actual thing that's going to kill me, it's that
back in my day, we were in the age of color movies with sound. what's the point of talkies being a thing if we're back to this real-life silent film bullshit?
also i gotta say it's really shitty timing. i had it reeeaal good before all of this. i could be as loud as i wanted, i had my bike, this giant ass combat knife, even a little baby dinosaur.

and what do i get here?

a fucking

tie-dye jumpsuit
like i'm some kind of hippie

Comments

[beeped]

christ, dude, you want me to remember where i was? it was space. dark and starry and sometimes we visited planets and the space ship was ginormous but we had to eat these blue cubes that i was told were not made of people but no one ever proved otherwise. also baby dinosaurs just happened to live there too

[warfares]

[ It was too much to hope for details, perhaps; something in the way Richie speaks, casual and off-hand, suggests that there was no real destination for his ship.

Curious, but before they get round to that it's time to talk dinosaurs: ]

On the ship?

[beeped]

yeah it was weird
eventually you just had to accept that there was nothing normal about anything
but the dinos were fucking cool

[warfares]

A pragmatic attitude.

[ He might not have been climbing the walls within a week but he'd certainly not be taking the sudden shift of surroundings with any kind of grace. Case and point: his entire time in Reims. ]

It didn't come with you then, I take it. The dinosaur?

[beeped]

no
man
it sucks SO MUCH ass
it would be so cool to have my little buddy back
he wasn't even that loud, yanno? he made this cute little squeaks

[warfares]

Even squeaks would be considered dangerous here.

[beeped]

yeah i figure that's why i'm gonna die one day

[warfares]

Are you planning on doing a lot of squeaking?

[beeped]

not squeaking exactly but do you know how hard it is to be quiet
i'm literally going insane
i can't take much more of this i'm just gonna end up dying
rip richie tozier he had many good chucks

[warfares]

Then might I suggest dying with a little dignity, preferably somewhere at a respectable distance from the rest of us.

[beeped]

idk that sounds boring to me
if i'm gonna die it's gotta be cool okay

[warfares]

Being pulled apart and eaten sounds boring to you?

[beeped]

wait
is that what is gonna happen to me

[warfares]

What exactly did you imagine a Sound Eater attack would look like?

[beeped]

i never really thought about it
i just know that it's gonna be impossible for me to stay as quiet as i need to be
that i'm gonna fuck up eventually
and that i'd die because of it

[warfares]

With that attitude you might as well lie down in the street right now and wait for them to come to you.

[beeped]

you don't understand how hard this is for meeeeeeeeee



the silence is deafening
and really lonely :(

[warfares]

[ He'll just get out the world's tiniest violin for you, Tozier. ]

I don't care how hard it is for you. You're not the only person here, not the only person suffering, and certainly not the only person that will be affected.

So, either learn to contain whatever urge you have or take it to the Reset Room.

[beeped]

has anyone ever told you you're an asshole
because you're totally invalidating my feelings right now
that's not cool my dude
i only have like two of them

[warfares]

I haveㅡand willㅡbe called far worse before I find a way off this mud ball of a planet.

Regardless, you'll at least be alive long enough to call me all of them if you manage to make even a modicum of effort.

[beeped]

so what you're saying is
i can call you dickballs scrotum licker if i don't die

[warfares]

Sure. Just like I can kick you into the river and see how big of a splash you'll make.

[beeped]

😍 i don't even know you but i love you
you got yourself a deal
i'll spit on my hand to shake and everything