un: kyouken

[justbeingknife]

Option A:
Uh.
Don't panic: possible livestock emergency.

One of the locals told me she left a hen on my porch. Guess what? Porch, no chicken.
So, you know.

If seen, do not engage. Report all chicken- and chicken-related activity.

[ ooc: Network/action, feel free to sight this chicken around town if you like! ]



Option B:
I heard some of you booze hounds were sniffin' around, so lemme save ya the trouble. My name's Majima, and I run the bar. The rules are don't be an asshole.

Here's a map. There's pool and darts. Got some smokes, too, but you better give me a real good reason why I should part with those.

Comments

[nishizono]

at least we know where the chicken wings came from.
so, declucked huh?

[justbeingknife]

Yeah. Imagine that job.

Vanessa did ask somethin' interesting, though. What if it's an interdimensional chicken? If it gets reset? Then ya couldn't eat her if ya wanted to.

[ they had the worst conversations ever ]

[nishizono]

gotta make sure these chickens don't sing
chop-chop

that wouldn't stop us from trying to eat it though
like what if it dies from being eaten
does it reset or does it stay in the stomach?

[justbeingknife]

Do ya really want a teleportin' chicken in your stomach?

How the fuck does that sound like a good idea?

[ GOD stop making Majima sound reasonable, u were the worst buddy ]

[nishizono]

[ how is any of this tetora's fault, which one of them is looking for a chicken named stella ]

it's a fucking chicken
why is eating it a bad idea??????

[justbeingknife]

It's a pet chicken, ya can't eat a pet chicken.

It's fuckin' illegal.

[ or it should be. whatever. ]

[nishizono]

being a pet doesn't stop a chicken from being a chicken
this is basic biology

[justbeingknife]

She's a good layer.

[nishizono]

she's a goddamn CHICKEN
WHAT THE FUCK

[justbeingknife]

Yeah, and chickens lay eggs!

[ at least lady chickens ]

If you stick a knife in her, though, she sure as shit ain't going to!

[nishizono]

what if her eggs are poison, huh?
what if only her meat is edible!
you're being really defensive about your chick stella

[justbeingknife]

Why would only her eggs be poisonous? Why's poison involved at all?

Someone try to take ya out with some oyakodon?

[ god he couldn't believe he was arguing with someone about poison chicken eggs

wait

yes he could ]

[nishizono]

what does oyakodon have to do with this
stop bringing respectable food into your egg argument
you're making this weird!!!

[ no tetora he isn't... you weirdo... ]

[justbeingknife]

Tell ya what.

You don't stab and eat my chicken, and I'll make ya a bowl of ramen with egg in it. Or crabsticks. Whatever.

[nishizono]

you'll make me ramen with poisoned eggs
i love it
you really know how to make someone feel loved

not that i know what that feels like but you know what
deal

[justbeingknife]

[ he didn't think this conversation could get weirder

he was wrong ]

You wanna feel loved?

[nishizono]

ew don't be disgusting
i'm just saying i don't have the frame of experience for it

[ don't make this weird don't be weird wow just n o ]

[justbeingknife]

You brought it up.

I was gonna suggest a pet.

[nishizono]

yeah i did but you didn't have to go in the direction you did
what would i do with a pet

[justbeingknife]

If ya get a dog or somethin', all you gotta do is take care of 'em. Then you're pretty much set; they'll follow ya around for life. All the adoration you'll ever need.

Anyway, what's so disgustin' about it? It ain't wrong to want someone to care about ya.

[nishizono]

i don't want a dog
i like dogs but they're too much love for me

do you ever wonder what it'd be like if you have someone to protect and then they just died on you

[justbeingknife]

I don't gotta wonder.

[nishizono]

oh
sorry

i don't have anyone like that

[justbeingknife]

It's... complicated. Can't say as how it's all good or bad.

But there's shit I can do for someone else that I ain't ever do for myself.

[nishizono]

why don't you love yourself, majima
why do you love others more than yourself