un: willthewise | 001

[deadboywalking]

[Will's been here for a hot second, and he's paid careful attention to...things that are going on. And he's more than ready to hit y'all with a whammy of a moral conundrum. Forgive his slow typing; he's from the 80's and texting isn't really a thing.]

if you do something bad -- like really bad, like unforgivable -- in your life before here

are you allowed to not tell anyone about it? or try to be better here? are you allowed to start over entirely?

is that bad too?

Comments

[deadboywalking]

[Will sits up a little straighter at this, alarmed.]

she's gone? why didn't you say something earlier??? i would've helped you look!

she was staying here, right? and nobody's seen her?

[353]

You were upset. [ What was he supposed to have done - tell Will to stop crying and help him look for Eleven? ]

She got assigned another house to live in but she stayed here most of the time. She wasn't there when I looked. Other people have disappeared too.

[deadboywalking]

[Judging by Will's expression: yep.] mike, i'm fine. i'm just thinking too much.

...do you think she went back home?

[353]

[ Mike shrugs and stares down at his lap which is definitely a sign he's getting upset talking about this. ]

I hope so. I don't want to think about her being out there, lost and alone. [ Or worse, dead. She couldn't be dead. He refused to believe that until he saw an actual body, a day he hoped would never come. ]

It sucks because I just got her back. And now she's gone again. And I can't even talk to her on my walkie talkie. [ He hadn't even thought about that until now. It had become such a comfort to him back home, even if sometimes he felt stupid afterwards, having those one-sided conversations... and now he doesn't even have that. ]

[deadboywalking]

[Will hesitates for a moment, then scoots closer, until his knee bumps up against Mike's.] i think i would know if she was. i could...feel her. back home. i remember because the shadow monster was afraid of her. he knew she was stronger than him.

so she comes back. you get to see her again. maybe we'll get out of here soon and you'll go back to the real world and that will happen.

[Another pause, then:] but it really sucks now. i know how important she is to you.

[353]

[ Mike hadn't thought about their connection before, not really knowing how far it went, until now. That makes him feel a little better. ]

I'm not leaving here without you. [ Even if meant being with El again.

He swallows down a lump in his throat and nods at the last of what Will types. ] I know you don't really know her but it's like she became a part of me and now there's just this hole. Here. [ He prods himself in the chest in a gesture to indicate inside himself, not realizing he poked where his heart is. ] It's how I've felt all year. [ It's why he hasn't really been himself sometimes. It's why he sometimes blew Will and the others off with an excuse to not being able to hang out when he could have. It's why he lashed out at Max so much. It's why he acted out at school. ]

[deadboywalking]

[Will hasn't really had time to turn it over in his mind either, but he knows it's real. El had been the only one Will had seen in the Upside-Down, the one bright spot in a place of absolute desolation. Something about that brightness hadn't gone away all year, and he'd recognized it on some level when she came back, even if actual-him, the real him, wasn't awake to see it.

Mike is so good at pretending what's wrong isn't actually what's wrong. That he's upset because of a bad grade or his parents being dumb or a stomachache. But by this point Will can see the difference.

So he leans a little heavier against Mike and types slowly.] i know. it's why stuff's been so hard for you. i'd feel the same way if you suddenly disappeared.

[353]

[ It's hard when Will is smaller than him, but Mike maneuvers himself to lean his head against Will's shoulder.

Will's right, stuff has been hard for Mike. Everything felt harder than it should. School, having fun with his friends, eating dinner with his family, accepting Max... It all felt so difficult, and maybe it was Mike's fault for making it harder than it should have been, but he just couldn't move on like the rest of the boys. Well, like Will had tried to move on, if it hadn't been for the monster being inside him. Which brings him to his next message: ]

It's nothing compared to what you've been through. [ It's probably why he bottles everything up so much, because he thinks he has no right to be sad or complain when Will has been through hell and back, and now hell again. ]

There's plenty of other kids here now. Even one that looks like me apparently? At least you wouldn't be alone if I did.

[deadboywalking]

[All good, that just means Mike has to scrunch his lanky asparagus body down and Will has to sit extra-tall. And then roll his eyes and very gently elbow Mike in the ribs.]

it's not a competition, mike. you had to deal with all the crazy scientists and soldiers and stuff chasing you and el around for a week and then you didn't even have anyone to talk to about it. i had my mom and jonathan. everyone's got different stuff.

i'd still be going crazy alone, because it wouldn't be YOU. the other kids are nice but they're not you.

[353]

[ Mike will just pretend like Will's elbow knocked him a lot harder than it did and flop over like the lanky asparagus he is, then return to his earlier position against Will with a smile. ]

Yeah well none of them are you either. I didn't want you here because you've been through enough but I'm really glad you're here. If that makes sense.

[deadboywalking]

[Will looks momentarily alarmed - Mike did you died??? -- but then rolls his eyes. Weird lanky veggie bff.]

that makes sense. if i'm gonna be stuck here, i'm glad it's with you.




i'm really sorry about el, though. [He knows it isn't going to feel better for Mike right away. Have a tiny friend hugging you, Mike, because it's just the two of them and nobody's gonna judge.]

[353]

[ Mike doesn't respond straight away, like he wants to be strong and pretend he's okay until he remembers it's Will. He doesn't have to pretend in front of Will. So after a moment's hesitation, he slumps more against Will, looping his arms around his small friend, hugging him tightly.

Eventually he pulls back, wipes a tear away from his cheek and manages a smile. ]

We got to spend a little time together here. I can't be sad about that. We splashed muddy puddles in the rain together. We could make noise that day because of the rain.

[ Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened, right? ]

[deadboywalking]

[Will is frowning in gentle concern, resting his chin against Mike's shoulder and looking up at him. But he manages a little smile at that.]

sounds fun. and messy. your favorite things.

maybe she'll come back?

[353]

[ Messy fun was the best. Mike had really enjoyed that day. Hopefully they'd get another like that.

At the thought of Eleven coming back, Mike suddenly looks unsure. ]

I don't know if I want her to... I mean, I could tell she really wanted to help stop the bad monsters and bad men here. [ Well, one particularly bad man. ] She could have got really hurt or worse. [ He was constantly worrying about her, and now Will is here... well, he's got someone else to focus his worrying over. ]

[deadboywalking]

[Will nods thoughtfully, letting out a very soft sigh.] yeah that makes sense. i wouldn't want mom or jonathan here. it's bad enough worrying about you and max.

[353]

[ Mike tries really hard not to pull a face at the mention of Max...

Nope, can't do it. ]

Why are you worrying about her for?

[deadboywalking]

[Mike. You're Will's best best friend in the entire world. But come on.

He sits up a little straighter, with his most earnest, gently chastising face.]

because i worry about everyone here. nobody deserves to get hurt by those monsters.

[353]

[ Mike nods like he agrees, except - ]

Kilgrave deserves to be hurt by them.

[deadboywalking]

[Will shudders all over at the name, making a face. Gross. Kilgrave's the worst.

But, he's quick to add:] max and kilgrave aren't the same at all, though.

[353]

[ Will gets a bit of a look from Mike at that message. Did Will think Mike thought they were alike? He wasn't that heartless to call them similar, but he can see why Will would think that by suddenly bringing Kilgrave into the conversation.

(It's hard for Mike to stop thinking about Kilgrave when he won't stop hurting people he cares about.) ]

I know. Just because she's not my favorite person doesn't mean I want her to get hurt.

[deadboywalking]

[Will knows you, Mike. He knows you don't really think that, that you don't put Max and Kilgrave on the same level. But Mike also feels every emotion at about 100,000%, so.

Have Will leaning to nudge against your side, Mike.] you don't have to be best friends or anything. but we're all kinda stuck in a really...bad place, so we've gotta have each other's backs.

please?

[353]

[ Wrong - it's 100,000,000%.

Mike just looks into Will's eyes after he uses the six-letter word, then nods. ]

Okay. I've got her back. [ Even if it's probably really gross or sweaty or hairy!!! ]