un: willthewise | 001

[deadboywalking]

[Will's been here for a hot second, and he's paid careful attention to...things that are going on. And he's more than ready to hit y'all with a whammy of a moral conundrum. Forgive his slow typing; he's from the 80's and texting isn't really a thing.]

if you do something bad -- like really bad, like unforgivable -- in your life before here

are you allowed to not tell anyone about it? or try to be better here? are you allowed to start over entirely?

is that bad too?

Comments

[beyourzoomer]

[He'd told her a little, when they woke up from that weird dream thing. Whatever that even was. Does she want to know more? The answer is an unequivocal yes. Not because she wants to know the future, but because some part of her feels like if he tells her, it'll somehow solidify their friendship. Isn't that how these things work?

But.

But.]

if you want to tell me, i'll listen. but if you don't, that's okay too.

[Because at the end of the day, they are still basically strangers and he doesn't owe her anymore than he owes any strangers who are here just because she has a familiar face.]

[deadboywalking]

[You can't see it, Max, but he's making a huffy, annoyed face.]

i know THAT but i want to know if YOU want to know. you're my friend. i want to be honest with you, but not if you don't wanna know.

[beyourzoomer]

[And he can't see it, but Max actually looks a little nervous, teeth gnawing on her lower lip. She can't even put her finger on why she's so uneasy, but she takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, switching the text conversation to private.]

i wanna know.

[deadboywalking]

[Will takes a slow, deep breath, settling into where he's sitting, surrounded by blankets.]

the shadow monster got inside me. and it made me do things. and a lot of people got killed.

[beyourzoomer]

[Shadow monster. Lucas had mentioned that briefly but didn't explain a whole lot about it.]

you were possessed.

[It's not really a question. She leans her head back against the wall.]

when we were all on the field. that's when it happened, right?

[deadboywalking]

yeah. then.

it got inside me then and it started...making me do things. it was watching everyone through me and nobody could tell when it was me and when it was Him. i fooled everyone. it was my fault that all the demogorgons got loose.

[beyourzoomer]

but it wasn't. it was the shadow monster's fault, will. it wasn't you.

[deadboywalking]

max, people died. a lot of people died. they'd still be alive if it weren't for me.

[beyourzoomer]

are you glad they're dead?

[She's really not sure how else to try and get through to him aside from being very, very blunt.]

[deadboywalking]

no. i'm not.

[beyourzoomer]

because YOU aren't a killer. YOU don't want to hurt people.

[Jesus, she's only known the party for maybe a week's time all together between home and here and even she knows that Will is about as incapable of intentionally hurting someone as a bean sprout is.]

it did. not you, Will. It.

[deadboywalking]

what if the monsters had ended up getting lucas? or dustin? or steve? or my mom or mike or hopper?

i can't stop thinking about that, max. i can't stop remembering how HAPPY He was when the soldiers died. i could feel it inside, how excited and...triumphant and...i can't figure out where i stopped and He started.

[beyourzoomer]

they didn't though. you can't dwell on what if's. it'll make you crazy. but for the record even if it had happened, it still wouldn't have been your fault.

[She draws in a deep breath and exhales slowly, rubbing a hand over her face.]

but it's stopped now right? you don't feel happy about it, you feel guilty. and if it had really been you, then...you'd still be happy about it. that's where it starts and you stop. does that make sense?

[deadboywalking]

[Will lets out a soft sigh, curling tighter in on himself.]

do YOU blame me? even a little bit? things were probably a lot quieter before you got mixed up with us.

[beyourzoomer]

it wasn't as quiet as you think.

[Maybe there hadn't been any supernatural kinds of things going on, but it was far from quiet. She wants to say something else, to try and explain what she means, but she doesn't know how.]

no, i don't blame you, will. i don't think you're a bad person. you're like the farthest thing from it.

[She knows that much.]

[deadboywalking]

[And now the most important question:] do you still wanna be friends?

[beyourzoomer]

[Oh Will.]

definitely.

[deadboywalking]

oh.

[In spite of himself -- in spite of how anxious and riled up he is -- Will smiles a little, tucking under his blankets with a softly contented sigh.]

good.

[beyourzoomer]

[She smiles a little, too, shaking her head. Making friends isn't an easy thing for her. She's not about to let go of anyone who actually wants to be her friend.]