un: klapbak

[clussy]

(Eddie had debated on whether or not to share this piece of information. But what the natives had said weighed on him heavily, and he felt like if he didn't and something were to happen...

He wasn't so sure he could live with that guilt.)

I asked one of the natives if bad things from our homes could come to this place. They said it was possible.

maybe some of you will think I'm crazy. Or the adults won't believe it. The adults in our town didn't believe anything and they didn't want to pay attention to what was happening. they didn't care about all the missing kids. I don't care if you believe it or not. some stuff exists whether or not people want to believe it does. me and my friends took care of it before and we'll do it again if we have to. we made that promise.

our town had this fucked up evil in it. and im not talking hellfire church-evil stuff either. I'm talking like...fear. real fear. maybe even the thing that made Fear

IT knew what you were afraid of. no, not your 'kind of' fears like thinking spiders are gross. i mean the kind of fears you dont even tell your best bud about. the kind of fears you don't even tell YOURSELF about cause the shame's so bad. IT knew you and IT fed off those fears. i guess it liked how kids tasted best when they died in terror

IT ate them too. im not saying it like sucked out their soul. no. IT would

(Eddie has to stop here. To breathe. To focus. He touches his own arm, closes his eyes, and counts.)

i cant explain how you'll know when you'll see IT
you'll feel
like you have to go towards something real bad, real scary
you'll know you shouldn't but you HAVE to...and maybe you'll be lucky like we were
like i was. and be able to get away when the fear gets bad enough.

IT takes the shape of a clown the most when ITS just existing normally. IT only changes when its hunting. IT can come through pictures or sinks or anything. i dont know what ITs limits even were

sometimes IT called ITself Pennywise the Dancing Clown. IT told me its name was Bob Gray when IT talked to me. And sometimes you could hear that carnival sorta music.Sometimes it'd lure you in with the smell of popcorn. IT sometimes had balloons. A lot of balloons. I don't know. It lived in the sewers and

I want to say we beat IT for good but we didn't. i'm not sure if IT can BE beaten.

I dont know if IT'll ever show up here
but don't trust things to be what they seem. don't.

and maybe realize the monsters you know might come here too. please be careful.

Comments

[clarius]

Really! I think it makes sense strength is drawn from the bonds or connections one has with others. Sometimes that's enough to trump one's fear which, more often than not, makes you feel like you're all alone. [ and lorem likes to think she knows from experience. when you're sixteen and trying to help tehnorganic aliens win their civil war, you're going to need a lot of faith, trust, and pixie dust at that age.

though she has a hard time mustering up excitement when she reads the rest of his message, unsure of how to reply to it. don't get her wrong- it sounds fascinating, the idea of others being pulled from different worlds and placed in a new place they've never been before.

yet worrying.

meaning that there's a chance that if she does leave... she might not go back home. at least not at first.

that's- that's a distressing thought, considering the state the lornful light was in before arriving here. not that she shares that sort of thing with him yet. no need to add more trouble or worries for someone simply because you're having a minor crisis, lore. ]

Since you mentioned 'we' I must assume you're with your friends then. Meaning you're still together or working together to overcome this once more. I want to believe that's a good sign for you and your friends.

[clussy]

(That's certainly one way to make Eddie smile. It seemed like quite a few people here seemed to understand on some level how valuable and powerful relationships could be. How they had a magic all on their own.)

you're right. it's easiest to be scared and think you're gonna mess up when you're all on your own. especially when your thoughts get really loud.

(Which his so often did. And that didn't even have to do with IT.

It was worrying and Eddie wouldn't really blame her for thinking that. Even back then, it had been worrying, and it was worrying even now. Eddie was afraid that he was going to keep shifting worlds. He was afraid he'd lose everyone he met and loved the most. Eddie didn't want to go home, but he wanted a home.

He was twelve. A part of him did want something constant and stable.

Eddie was pretty good at a minor crisis himself every now and then. He wasn't half bad at dealing with other people having their own.)

that's...that's the shitty part. we forget each other when we leave derry, and in our futures, we were all...none of us remembered each other. it's complicated- but we somehow all wound up back in maine and obviously back together again but it seems like everything in our lives went to shit when we separated and we all became these sad versions of ourselves
like we went the worst routes our lives could take us?

sorry im kind of getting personal i guess. but i think us forgetting each other and us straying apart made the bond between us weaker and thats why



it
the vision i saw doesnt end too great for me. so. i dont know.

(He ...doesn't want to overshare exactly. Least of all over a device, but it doesn't take a genius to figure out what he might be indicating here.)

sorry. im talking a lot about myself.

have you ever fought anything like this before?

[clarius]

Please don't apologise. You shouldn't be sorry for that. I'm sorry you had to go through all of that. The confrontation. The vision. What happened at the end. That's a lot for you and your friends to face in what must have been a short amount of time for both instances.

What you went through wasn't fair at all.

[ her skin is prickling at the thought of somehow losing crucial memories of her life, of not knowing those she's met and loved and even fought. lorem can't imagine what it'd be like if she forgot about everything that happened to her so far in her life - laura and leeds, the lornful light and radiance. the discovery of galateions and project CHALICE.

most of the memories were amazing. some of the memories weren't great. and some memories were downright awful. she won't deny that last part but the memories were her memories at the end of the day.

it's why she stares at the last question, worrying at her bottom lip while she wonders- ]

Something similar, I suppose. Something (someones, really) bigger and scarier and out of my comprehension at the time. I had no reference for what they were at first and they came so suddenly, so violently to my town that sometimes I wonder if it was all a dream or not.

I couldn't fight back at the time though. Not really. Didn't know how to and I was told I couldn't put myself in danger. I had to watch others step in for that. [ she pauses at this point, unsure but it wouldn't be fair to the dear and the departed if she tried to forget them. the memories were her memories. ] I miss them a lot. They were good people who tried even if it didn't end great for them because they knew but they tried all the same.

[clussy]

(Eddie chews at the inside of his cheek, not sure what to do with such open sincerity. He simply isn't used to being spoken to like this, and maybe he never would be. What he went through....It was so overwhelming and yet at the same time, sometimes, it felt like it had happened to someone else entirely.

Wasn't fair...

The funny thing was, Eddie didn't really even sometimes think that Pennywise was the worst part of Derry. The adults...Oh, their careless indifference. That hurt so much more than any embodiment of evil ever could. Eddie doesn't bother to say this, instead, he types out a slow, but genuine:)

Thank you. Sometimes I wonder if I talk too much about this stuff, but I guess I'm tired of people being in the dark about things that could really hurt them.

(It was horrifying, honestly. Sometimes if he spent too far away for too long of a time from his friends, he began to forget. The scars on his hand would even slowly start to vanish. He hated that. He hated it a whole lot. It's why he had the wall in his room. It's what made him make sure to see Bill and Richie every day even if he was tired after working at the greenhouse. He'd rather an entire memory of a horrible summer if it meant keeping the memories of his friends.)

it probably wasn't a dream. the really awful stuff we encounter, even if we wake up at the end, it's never really a dream at all, is it? there's always. something bigger at work.

what was it? the thing you didn't understand. were you ever able to fight back?

[clarius]

[ she understands that feeling a lot.

the worry of speaking too much, wanting to say something to warn others but not wanting to cross a line that might be difficult to come back from if too much is said. it has her sighing in empathy when some memories come back. long discussions between her, luara, and leeds. trying to decide how they should go about this and whether or not they should finally (finally, finally) bring in help. ]

From my experience, it's better to have knowledge of the horrors than being surprised by it. It's difficult to swallow, I can attest to that, but they'll be better prepared. And all thanks to your willingness to speak out on it.

I was never able to fight back against the things. The beings, really. From outer space, a planet full of mechanoid aliens far older than Earth itself from where I am.

Not directly at least. They were a lot of bigger than me. They've been fighting my friends for a long, long time in a war so they knew their way around combat and more.

The most I could do was help my friends however I could. [ her chest still aches from phantom pains now and then. she presses a hand against it now, hissing a bit at the memory of tearing-breaking-opening. ] It wasn't a lot but it was something. Better than nothing.