un: klapbak

[clussy]

(Eddie had debated on whether or not to share this piece of information. But what the natives had said weighed on him heavily, and he felt like if he didn't and something were to happen...

He wasn't so sure he could live with that guilt.)

I asked one of the natives if bad things from our homes could come to this place. They said it was possible.

maybe some of you will think I'm crazy. Or the adults won't believe it. The adults in our town didn't believe anything and they didn't want to pay attention to what was happening. they didn't care about all the missing kids. I don't care if you believe it or not. some stuff exists whether or not people want to believe it does. me and my friends took care of it before and we'll do it again if we have to. we made that promise.

our town had this fucked up evil in it. and im not talking hellfire church-evil stuff either. I'm talking like...fear. real fear. maybe even the thing that made Fear

IT knew what you were afraid of. no, not your 'kind of' fears like thinking spiders are gross. i mean the kind of fears you dont even tell your best bud about. the kind of fears you don't even tell YOURSELF about cause the shame's so bad. IT knew you and IT fed off those fears. i guess it liked how kids tasted best when they died in terror

IT ate them too. im not saying it like sucked out their soul. no. IT would

(Eddie has to stop here. To breathe. To focus. He touches his own arm, closes his eyes, and counts.)

i cant explain how you'll know when you'll see IT
you'll feel
like you have to go towards something real bad, real scary
you'll know you shouldn't but you HAVE to...and maybe you'll be lucky like we were
like i was. and be able to get away when the fear gets bad enough.

IT takes the shape of a clown the most when ITS just existing normally. IT only changes when its hunting. IT can come through pictures or sinks or anything. i dont know what ITs limits even were

sometimes IT called ITself Pennywise the Dancing Clown. IT told me its name was Bob Gray when IT talked to me. And sometimes you could hear that carnival sorta music.Sometimes it'd lure you in with the smell of popcorn. IT sometimes had balloons. A lot of balloons. I don't know. It lived in the sewers and

I want to say we beat IT for good but we didn't. i'm not sure if IT can BE beaten.

I dont know if IT'll ever show up here
but don't trust things to be what they seem. don't.

and maybe realize the monsters you know might come here too. please be careful.

Comments

[clussy]

(He couldn't really afford to. He used to, but it always put him back in a mental place where he started letting himself listen to her all over again. Eddie loved his momma, but it was complicated the way most relationships with parents were.

That and it kind of didn't help that he was left pretty messed up in the head from it all.)

Thatd be

nice
I'm trying so it helps when other people help too. I sometimes get caught up in thinking Im still sick like. I dont really have asthma but I sometimes feel like I do when I get real scared but I gotta stop using my inhaler.

(That kind of thing.

There isn't too many times Eddie can recall where he's gotten a lot of honest insight to how adults functioned, so he takes his time reading what Majima has to say about it all.)

I know lots of kids who lie too, yeah. i mean even i have lied plenty. which i guess kind of makes me a
whats the word
hippocrit?

A lot of kids lie so they dont get in trouble. Parents make it easy for kids to want to lie too when they yell at them about damn near everything. Maybe kids grow into adults who think theyre gonna get in trouble every time they do something they think is gonna upset someone else

I guess I do get why adults lie

So it just becomes a cycle sort of thing? You gotta lie to cover your other lies. Jeez. What a mess.

[justbeingknife]

Your inhaler? So it's psychosomatic?

[ Wow, what were the odds. Maybe that was another reason Majima found himself oddly identifying with Eddie. ]

I get what ya mean. But now that I'm thinkin' about it, that's just one reason to lie. There's plenty more. To impress someone, to get something ya want, to get outta trouble, like ya said...

[ Huh. ]

That's probably not real reassuring. But...

I've met people who lie, but who I wouldn't consider dishonest, either. They're more like animals. They don't lie just to dick you over, but to get somethin' they want.

[ Apparently there was a difference? Majima probably wasn't explaining it too well. ]

I'd rather deal with someone like that.

[clussy]

yeah i have an inhaler. (He even digs it out to show Majima.) yeah. i guess. my pharmacist said that i was messed up in the head and that's why i needed it.

Why would you lie to someone to impress them??

(Now that was a new one.)

i dont know if id compare them to animals. animals don't lie. Thats why I trust Teddy so much. But I think I get what you mean when you say it like that.

Whys that? Is it because you understand what they want better or something?

[justbeingknife]

'Cause you're desperate?

Lots of guys lie to impress girls. Or other guys. Never really saw the point, but I guess they want to be liked.

[ Majima shrugged; it was his general opinion that this kind of dissembling was doomed to failure. Either it didn't work, or it did and people liked you for being someone you weren't, really. ]

They're honest with themselves. They might lie sometimes, but you know where ya stand. And you know why they're doing what they do.

It ain't personal.

[clussy]

(Eddie merely shrugs his shoulders. He liked Majima, but he really didn't talk too much about his mental health even with his closest friends, and he's run out of the will to keep going on with it.

He doesn't get the latter part either, so he mostly just squints. He supposes it makes sense to an extent. He had lied about being scared before so Bill would be proud of him. It was probably like that.)

I guess that makes sense. Being honest with yourself can be tricky.

good place to end?

[justbeingknife]

[ Maybe once Eddie had experienced the joys of having multiple people try to kill him, he'd begin to pick favorites. There was such a fine array of types of people who might try and dump your lifeless body into the river! It would really be a shame not to be choosy about which methods they might employ.

Or, you know. Not. ]

Well, then, let's hope ya turn out to be the right kinda adult. One that knows how.