un: noel

[saltysanta]

Anyone who can see this, listen up! I've got a couple things to ask about.

First, I'm looking for a reindeer with a red nose or a tall guy with long silver hair and green eyes. He answers to Rudolph. You can probably get the idiot's attention with candy or cakes if you need to. He belongs with me, and he's going to be in big trouble if he's here but hasn't tried to find me yet. You'd better have a good explanation if you can see this, Rudolph, or I'm cutting you off from sweets for a whole week!

Beyond that, I need to get some idea of how many kids are here. Local or newcomers, it doesn't matter, as long as they're young enough to count--below the age of majority for wherever you're from is probably a good rule of thumb. This whole sound eater business is going to make my job hard enough as it is, I need to know how many people I've got to keep safe.


((OOC: This is a slightly expanded version of the prompt from his test drive thread. Feel free to keep or change anything you did with that as you'd like!))

Comments

UN: Horse

[charliehorse]

There are six children in house 11 with me.

I am keeping them safe too.

[saltysanta]

Six in one house? That's a lot. I appreciate the help.

[It'll be easier to keep his list if he's got names to keep track of people..... but he'll collect the information where he can. This is a good start.]

[charliehorse]

Foals are everyone's responsibility.
The children are energetic and curious, but they are less obnoxious than their adult equivalents.

[saltysanta]

Right on both counts.

[Kids are a pain in the ass, but adults are usually assholes. No contest there, is it?]

UN: protectsfamily

[dapalis]

u mean the same rendeer that wrks for santa? does that mean youre him?

[ A moment passes before a second message follows this. ]

age of majority? uh. im 16. ds that help?

[saltysanta]

Yes to all of that.

[At least he's not quite rude enough to literally just give you a one word response and leave you to figure out which question it's answering?]

[dapalis]

[ Give him a second to process this. Soon as it does? ]

didn't knw santa actally existed! thst's so cool!

[ Then something clicks in his head. ]

dn't need to keep m safe though. can handle myself. prmise!

[saltysanta]

Geez. How many of you guys fight at this age, anyway? I'll take your word for it, but you're still going on the list.

[He believes you, Yuu, but that still won't stop him from protecting you if a situation arises.]

UN: Pilot00

[lilithsoul]

I am legally a child. I will not need protection.

[She hadn't ever even really had much in the way of guardianship through her piloting career, having lived almost completely alone. Being protected was just an odd thought, odd enough to cause her to reply.]

[saltysanta]

Sure. But you'er going on the list anyway, just in case.

[lilithsoul]

Do not be concerned. I will protect you when the time comes.

[Yeah, he was going to have a hard time if he wanted this one to be the protected one. She was used to getting up in front of the dangers and serving as a human shield, or laying down cover fire, even when told not to by her teammates. But, at least she was used to people not thinking girls her age should be soldiers. She got that plenty from the Major and Ikari-kun.]

[saltysanta]

If you're used to fihgting I won't stop you. But be careful okay?

[He can already tell that he won't win an argument here, so he won't even try. He'll just keep an eye out for her, and swoop in if needed. Hopefully it wouldn't happen, but still, it's always good to be prepared.]

UN: Klapbak

[clussy]

Did you just threaten Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer?




How do you keep kids safe exactly?

(Prepare yourself for an informal interview, buddy. Eddie won't disclose his age just yet.)

Re: UN: Klapbak

[saltysanta]

If you consider witholding treats for a few days a threat then I guess so?

There are two patrs to it. The one everyone knows about is the presents. Happy kids aren't as appetizing to monsters, so they don't show up as often. The one people don't talk about is that Rudolph and I kill the monsters that do show up before they can have a kid for dinner.

It's a little out of season for Christmas presents rihgt now, but the fighting is yearround.

[Sigh, having to explain himself is irritating and tedious. But fine, he's new here in Reims, so he'll go along with being interviewed for the moment.]

[clussy]

I cannot begin to think of a bigger threat than withholding treats from a reindeer.

(That's like. Animal cruelty in the first degree. How dare. But he doesn't know if his tone translates well as joking through text or not. This is the bane of his existence.)

You're not wrong there. Monsters seem to like their kids screaming and miserable.

Are you serious?

(Eddie feels doubtful, somehow.)

Wait, are you trying to say you're Santa Claus????

(See now Eddie's squinting even more skeptically. He could believe super heroes existing, demons, centaurs, and all sorts of other things...But somehow Santa....That felt impossible.)

[saltysanta]

If hes' not here or has a good excuse, then he won't be deprived, it's motivating.

[Aha, and here comes the doubt and disbelief. This old song and dance again. Ugh, what a pain.....]

Yes, I'm serious.

un: touched

[waystation]

_{[JOINS EDDIE IN SQUINTING AT LITERALLY ALL OF THIS.]}

Everyone's already worried about monsters showing up if they're not quiet. Maybe we shouldn't talk so much about kids getting eaten by other kinds if they're unhappy.

_{[Translation: ccccan we please stop describing at length how he's going to meet his untimely demise over his intense regrets...................... RIP, half of Reims' child population.]}

Re: un: touched

[saltysanta]

I'll leave it at that then,

[Please don't massacre all your fellow children by summoning a horrible canon-specific monster, Jake. >.> Profound mid-battle epiphanies are a lot harder to achieve in games than they are in manga.]

[waystation]

_{[this iS TOO MUCH PRESSURE. Will you let him cry on your bosom to prevent this fate, Noel?]}

Okay.

_{[Good talk, let's break for lunc-- Haha, just kidding, there's no way he's not coming back with a follow-up.]}

Rudolph's your pet?

[saltysanta]

[Ghhhh, he doesn't know how to comfort people! He doesn't even really like kids! What's he supposed to do with one crying on him?? Would presents work instead?]

Not my pet, my partner. The contract we forged helps me harness my full power, and we fight together. It's the same for all the reindeer and their Santas.

un: sol

[skyofreverie]

[He stares at this text for a very long time.]

Santa?

[saltysanta]

Yes?

[skyofreverie]

[It's Santa. Santa. The real question is...]

My name is Sora. Kid from Destiny Islands several years ago. You wouldn't happen to remember me, would you?

un:kyouken

[justbeingknife]

Don't really know myself, but there're an awful lot of 'em running around.

Eddie, Bill, Will, Mike, Jake... a handful more teenagers, too. You wanna look after all of them, you're definitely gonna have your work cut out for ya.

[saltysanta]

[If he was allowed to, he'd laugh at that sentiment. Instead, Noël just shakes his head in silent exasperation as he types.]

The number's not shaping up to be bad, really. I'm usually responsible for Europe as a whole, not just Reims.

The real issue here is time; it isn't usually a problem. But I can't be everywhere at once, and attacks usually resolve themselves in a matter of minutes--so since my magic can't ensure that I get there before the situation turns bad anymore, things are going to get pretty troublesome.