UN: Horse

[charliehorse]

[Charlie's not been here long, but he's already learnt that a lot of people in this town don't have a lick of common sense. His life would be so much easier if he could just yell at crowds until gossip did most of the work for him, but he's got to make do with typing.]

Hello I am Charlie. I am a horse but my neck and head are shaped like half a human. I am new.

This is IMPORTANT

I have a human head. My eyes are in the front of my skull.

I cannot see most of my body.

If you sneak up and touch me where I cannot see you you will scare me. I might kick you.

I am very strong. I can break your little bones and kill you with one kick.

I DO NOT WANT TO KILL YOU. Do not be rude and touch me.

I am a person, come in front of me and say hello.

[That's the most he's ever written in one single session before. He's exhausted]

Comments

UN: Pilot00

[lilithsoul]

I remember you. Thank you for the information.

[It was logical, especially since she'd never actually spent time among horses. So, while she understood the principle that a horse didn't really see its haunches, and that said haunches could probably obliterate her, it wasn't the sort of thing she would usually think about.

You know, if she ever thought about patting a horse's haunches, which was admittedly very unlikely, ever.]

[darksmokerising]

Hello Charlie. My name is Merlan, would you like me to say hello to you in person? I'd like to meet you.

[charliehorse]

[He squints at her user name, and with all the tact under his command he types]

Who are you?

[charliehorse]

Hello Merlan.

Yes, come and say hello to me in person. Are you a human? What colour is your hair? You all look the same to me because you're small.

Bring me an apple too. Or barley.

We can be friends if you feed me

[He's going to see how far he can push his luck]

[lilithsoul]

[And with all of the same utter lack of tact, she responded, completely missing the fact that he couldn't possibly recognize her through user name alone.]

Rei.

[saltysanta]

Oh my god. Why is this even a thing? Why do people actually need to be told this? Even a normal horse can't see directly behind itself, and you're half-blinded.

[Noël may or may not be burying his face in his hands from wherever he's typing; sometimes people can be so stupid it hurts. This should be common sense, even if you've never spent time with horses--someone, something that big and strong could crush most people without even trying. Scaring or offending him is just reckless idiocy. Even he doesn't come up behind Rudolph unless he's in his human form.....]

[darksmokerising]

[Merlan would have laughed if she was allowed to but she suppresses her amusement to a grin.]

I have brown hair and brownish green eyes. I'm definitely pretty small and I will definitely find you one of those two.

I would very much like to be your friend (with food benefits).

UN: katsudonfan

[porkbelly]

Sorry if this is rude, but... how are you typing?

un: king of fishing

[cxivth]

( he's squinting at this. squinting hard before finally deciding to respond... )

is this one of those horse ebook things?

un: touched

[waystation]

_{[When there are so few animals around, a large, sturdy-looking horse stands out, especially one whose top half is human. Charlie. Charlie the horse. Charley horse. Someone has a sense of humor.]}

You must be the one hanging out around house eleven, right?

_{[How many centaur people could there be in one village.]}

[charliehorse]

[He has to take a moment to sound that name out. Ray?]

The brown hair girl or the blue hair girl?

[lilithsoul]

[Oh, he was trying to recognize which person she was. That made sense, and was easy enough to clear up.]

Blue

[She supposed that did qualify as a bit of an identifying mark. There weren't many people who had hair her shade, she imagined, at least not without hair dye. Distantly, she wondered about the brown haired one, but that wonder was gone quickly afterwards.]

[charliehorse]

[Sympathy! Actual sympathy! Charlie latches on immediately]

I am and it is horrible. I hate not being able to see properly.

Humans have big brains but they are also stupid. They do not likebeing told this.

Who are you?

[charliehorse]

Are you afraid yet?

[charliehorse]

Brownish green? Like wood seen through patches of moss or like rotting grass?

I live in house 11 with a lot of human children. You can come inside when you have food for me.

[Children, no matter what their species, learn by observing adults. If his housemates spot and adult feeding him, he figures, they'll be more likely to do the same as well.

Unless...]

Are you small because you are a child too?

[charliehorse]

I told you, my neck is half a human. I have human arms
just under my head as well as my four legs.

I also have two belly buttons. My body is stupid.

Who are you?

[charliehorse]

[He takes that just about as wrongly as he could]

I am NOT a thing!

Also you spelt book wrong. B O O K.

Even I know how to spell book and I only learnt to read two years ago.

Are you the king of fishing because you have a fish brain?

[charliehorse]

Yes that is me.

How do you know that? Have you come into house 11 too or are you spying?

What is your name?

[This username business is doing Charlie in. He is not used to the concept at all]

[porkbelly]

Oh. So you're a centaur. I thought from your description only your neck and head were human. The concept of a torso being described as a neck didn't click with me. Sorry.

My name's Yuuri Katsuki.

[charliehorse]

Hello Yuuri Katsuki. What is a katsu donfan?

No I am not a centaur. I look like a centaur but I am not one.

If you want to know if someone is a centaur offer them oats in a bag. They will be very offended at being treated like a horse even though most of their body is horse.




(Give the oats in a bag to me. Their loss is my gain)

[cxivth]

oh OH you're a real... guy. my bad i thought this was—
hey, what's THAT supposed to mean?

you know, this is pretty rich coming from a guy named "charlie" saying he's part "horse."
really living up to your name by being a pain, huh?

[saltysanta]

Just because they don't like being told it doesn't mean it isn't true.

I'm Noel Christenbell, we met by the fire out in the town square.

[porkbelly]

Katsudon is my favorite food. It's pork cutlet with egg and rice. 'Fan' just means I like something. I couldn't think of a better name on the spot.

And oh, I'm sorry. We don't have your kind where I come from.

[lilithsoul]

No. Why would I be afraid?

<3 Charlie

[darksmokerising]

Perhaps more like wood through patches of moss. I think rotting grass is darker. You can see yourself in a few minutes.

[She's been foraging and has found a few ripe apples and quietly bartered for a small bag of barley. It cost her a small preservation spell for a cupboard and a few introductions to some rather sweet natives.

Her next text comes a little later.]

I'm small because that's the way I was made, I guess. But I am an adult. Sometimes, we are small, too.

[She works her way into the eleventh house, her bare feet quiet as she moves. But she has the sack and the apples and smiles when she sees Charlie. He's really lovely and her smiles says as much.]